Humor essays about the small disasters and quiet absurdities of everyday existence: home improvement projects that reveal existential truths, pets who understand peace better than their owners, and the gap between who we think we are and who we actually become when nobody's watching.
There is a man standing in the greeting card aisle of a drugstore, somewhere around February 10th, wearing a jacket he's had since 2009. He...
The snow stopped falling around midnight, leaving behind eight inches of the heavy, wet kind that makes your back hurt just looking at it. By...
They’re calling it a snowpocalypse again. Thirteen inches, give or take, depending on which app you trust and how much faith you still place in...
The scratch happened during "The Twelve Days of Christmas." Not a minor skip—a full groove malfunction that turned Mitch Miller's already interminable carol into a...
Thanksgiving occupies a peculiar space in the American holiday calendar—it’s the one day we’re contractually obligated to admit we’re grateful for things while simultaneously stress-eating...
It started innocently enough, the way all addictions do. A family hike during lockdown Spring 2020, when "going outside" felt like a radical act of rebellion...
I absolutely despise painting. Not in the way one dislikes brussels sprouts or airport security lines—this is a deeper, more primal aversion. It's the kind of...
My wife and I were having lunch in an outdoor courtyard, fresh from the trenches of bathroom vanity shopping—because nothing says ”romance” quite like debating...
Early morning and I'm standing in what used to be my kitchen, holding a prybar like it's evidence in a trial where I'm both defendant...
This morning I found Ellie, my Irish Setter, asleep on her back—legs splayed at geometrically improbable angles, one ear flopped inside-out, making soft honking noises...